I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse. My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet. Went for my routine checkup today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my butt! Do you think I should change dentists? At the Senior Citizens Center they had a contest the other day I lost by one point: The question was: Where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently the correct answer was Africa!!! One of the other questions that I missed was to name one thing commonly found in cells. It appears that Mexicans was not the correct answer there either. You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles but at least they drive slowly past schools. Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled." To which she replied, "No, it's regular people-porn, you sick bastard. A buddy of mine has just told me he's getting it on with his girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a mustache."